


Redwing/Night Hood?

by BadBlond099



Series: Familiarity Breeds... [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: All hail Nightwing's ass, Blüdhaven, Costume Swapping, Cuz we're all stir crazy, M/M, Quarantine, Sorta Smut, Suggestive of fun in the future, Venice Canals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24063727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBlond099/pseuds/BadBlond099
Summary: “Damn. If I’ve got you fooled, I MUST pull this suit off,” Jason noted, tugging at the collar. “Not gonna lie, it’s definitely riding up in a few places.”John peered not-so-subtly around Jason, checking out his ass, before popping the cigarette between his lips and scoffing. “That you then, Hoodie?”
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd/John Constantine
Series: Familiarity Breeds... [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731799
Comments: 4
Kudos: 100





	Redwing/Night Hood?

**Author's Note:**

> And the quarantine-theme ficlets continue!
> 
> This is just based on the fact that I was exposed to the fake news about dolphins in Venice's canals and only sorta figured out it was fake...well...long after the fact...
> 
> Guest starring John Constantine this time around because people have enjoyed me writing the thrupple in the past! No real need for background info aside from the fact that, in this story, basically John's already WELL acquainted with the boys.
> 
> As always, don't take this seriously, it's all in good fun! I'm just challenging myself to write short quarantine-themed fics for a bit. Been doing good about keeping it daily so far. Reading the others in the series isn't required as these are light on plot. Just know that Dick and Jason are living together during the quarantine.
> 
> And on a last note: in order to keep these going for as long as possible, I'm open to suggestions or requests! If anybody has a quarantine situation they'd like me to twist to the extreme with these idiots or just has something in mind that they'd like to see, I'm game! Shoot me a comment with the idea if you want! Otherwise I'll just be pooling ideas with QueenOfThePirates as usual...
> 
> Enjoy! <3

One of the strangest clauses that came with the quarantine was the limited amount of vigilante work that Jason and his fellow Bat-related associates could perform. Tim, being the most on top of the situation, had asked Bruce to keep his own activity extremely limited. Clark, Conner, and Jon were all too happy to cover for them as needed.

Otherwise, most things were left to Jason as he couldn’t catch the virus thanks to his dip in the Lazarus Pit. Bruce begrudgingly allowed him to act in Batman’s stead once or twice (the smug satisfaction was worth sparing the assholes causing trouble during quarantine). But the fact was: the last thing Bludhaven needed was to think that the Red Hood was around to stir up trouble. So, when Dick’s city needed some help, somehow Jason’s roommate talked him into playing Nightwing for an evening.

“Seriously? Killer Moth? Haven’t you heard? Now murder hornets are all the rage.”

“Shut up and hold still so I can kill you!”

Jason could admit; it was kind of fun being able to quip and really be heard. It wasn’t that he wasn’t as mouthy as Dick. Hell, he’d argue that his battle dialogue was wittier 90 percent of the time. Trouble was his opponents didn’t usually walk away from an encounter with the Red Hood.

“Come on. Isn’t Mothman some mythical beast in West Virginia? You should go fly around there for a change. With the UFO sighting so big in the news, I’m sure you could make a bigger headline there!”

“God, you are annoying!”

Jason flipped from rooftop to construction piping, narrowly avoiding a shot from Killer Moth’s Stinger gun. The amount of flipping and acrobatics he did felt excessive, but the more he acted like Dick the better, he figured. “Listen, Mothy, just give it up. You tried to rob a FREE clinic! That’s low on a normal day. Today? Yeah, you’re lucky my friend Red Hood isn’t here. He’s put bullets in people’s brains for less.” A little intimidation couldn’t hurt. After all, who the hell robs a free clinic?

“Medical grade face masks are going for a fortune and this place has the nerve to keep them for patients only? No. They’re not getting use there. I’ll sell them off. Make up for how much this stupid virus has put me in the hole!”

Was monologuing really a requirement? The whole thing seemed cartoonish to Jason. He much preferred action to explanation. And now that he knew Killer Moth was trying to steal medical masks (not cool) because he was suffering from the employment situation as well (annoyingly understandable), he couldn’t just stomp his ass and throw him in jail with a clear conscience.

Then again, he never was much of a bleeding heart, and there were better ways to handle financial troubles…

One surefire shot of his grappling gun and hooks sliced right through one of Killer Moth’s wings. Jason connected the end of the line to one of the bars around the construction site and watched his opponent spiral out of the air only to swing into the bars, getting the wind knocked out of him. “And that takes care of that.” He climbed down to Killer Moth’s level to disarm him and zip-tie his hands and feet for good measure.

“You don’t understand. Off on your high horse…You could never understand,” the guy muttered.

“Whatever. Doesn’t justify stealing masks from, again, a FREE clinic! There’s a special place in hell for shit like that!”

As if summoned by Jason’s statement, an awful demon-looking-thing came flying out from a nearby storefront, screeching out so shrilly that the sound seemed to scrape against Jason’s skull. It flew right at him and Killer Moth, who was now screaming.

Jason lost his footing as the demon burst into black flames before his very eyes and wound up catching himself a few bars down. “What the actual…oh, fuck. Hey John.” He let go, dropping the rest of the way to land right next to his tan trench coat-clad acquaintance. “Do you own another outfit?”

“D—fuck me—Nightwing! Odd seein’ you about. Thought for sure Hoodie’d have you under lock an’ key.” John patted out a small ember that had started on his arm and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, doing his best to maintain social distancing protocols in spite of his natural inclination to shake hands. Of course, upon feeling the pack of cigarettes in his pocket, he felt the strong desire to busy his hands another way. He took his pack out and tapped one out into his hand. “Also kinda figured you’d be sportin’ a right mullet at this point. Don’t think anybody forgot about that little phase of yours.”

“Damn. If I’ve got you fooled, I MUST pull this suit off,” Jason noted, tugging at the collar. “Not gonna lie, it’s definitely riding up in a few places.”

John peered not-so-subtly around Jason, checking out his ass, before popping the cigarette between his lips and scoffing. “That you then, Hoodie?”

“Okay, my ASS gives it away?” he said with a chuckle. “Hope Killer Moth wasn’t too interested in the goods. I do NOT miss the whole skin-tight suit situation. I know this thing’s armored, but I feel like I’ve been flipping around Haven naked…which kind of explains a lot about the real Nightwing.”

No longer worried about distancing himself, John lit his cigarette and placed a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “I think the real mystery, mate, is why the lad wears clothes at all.”

Jason snatched up the cigarette, craving the taste of tobacco (he’d promised Dick he wouldn’t smoke while they were living together, but the temptation was high), and took a quick drag before bringing up, “Dare I ask what hellspawn you just scared out of Haven?”

“Ahh, sumn you couldn’t even pronounce,” John replied dismissively. Jason couldn’t help but smile, figuring he probably had a better shot at pronouncing it than his friend did. “You know how it is. People shut in and the demons what were feedin’ off ‘em get nasty.”

“Oh yeah, sure. I’m totally aware of all that occult stuff,” Jason said with a roll of his eyes. “People get stir crazy, demons get ‘nasty’, and meanwhile nature’s having a field day.”

John stole back his cigarette and noted, “You hear about them dolphins in Venice? Now that’d be a sight.”

Jason sighed. “Too bad traveling abroad’s all but impossible.”

“Oy, not for me. Whaddaya say? I’ll happily take you an’ the, uh, other Nightwing to see some dolphins. You just gotta be willin’ to do a lil portal hoppin’ with yer ol’ mate. I worked out a little deal to get around during this crisis. Can’t hurt to take a couple extras.”

“Sounds fantastic. Hang on.” Jason clicked on his communicator and was berated with a barrage of complaints over him having shut it off while actively dealing with Killer Moth. “Miss you too. Look, I’ve got John here with an interesting offer. Get dressed to go out. We’ll be there soon.” He clicked the communicator off, not caring that it would definitely piss Dick off further. “How are you with motorcycles?”

“Lad, I considered myself quite the biker in my hay day.”

And maybe he did, but nothing could have prepared John for the way that Jason gunned it, taking them from Bludhaven back to Gotham in record time. He parked his bike in the secret garage under the building where his apartment was hidden, laughing all the while at just how shaken up his passenger was.

“Okay, you know the drill. Up the fire escape and—”

“Nope. Not today.” John grabbed Jason’s shoulder and pulled him through a portal that led right into his living room.

“Is it really okay to port around such short distances?” Jason wondered.

“Don’t tell the demon I made the deal with about it,” John mumbled. “Oy, Dickie-Boy! Ready to shove off?”

“Honestly, you don’t give a guy any warning and you just expect me to be ready to go out into the world in the middle of the night like it’s nothing!” Dick stepped out of the bedroom dressed casually and very noticeably wearing the Red Hood face mask from Jason’s latest outfit.

“Dude, I meant ‘go out’ like to the store,” Jason said, feeling a little exasperated.

“Whatever. Were you planning on changing? This keeps us on even ground. Plus this thing’s got better filters than any medical mask and you know it.”

It was a little uncanny hearing the mechanical voice that he usually used coming from Dick, but Jason just sighed and dropped the issue. “Guess you’re going with a couple of mixed up Bats.”

“I think I’ll manage.” To the boys’ surprise, John jabbed them both in the forehead with two fingers and said some chant. When he took his fingers away they couldn’t tell any difference. Before they could ask, he shoved them both backwards and they stumbled through a portal that let out, quite surprisingly, at the canals of Venice.

“Ho-leeey…I thought you meant, like, a park or something!” Dick exclaimed. “What time zone are we in? Geez, I’m so unprepared!”

Jason, flustered as he was, was drawn right away to the edge of the water. “Incredible.” It was clear, but there wasn’t a sign of any dolphins, just the odd fish or two.

“Wait. Wouldn’t it be weird if people saw Nightwing and Red Hood chilling?” Dick brought up.

“Honestly, lad, quit askin’ questions and enjoy yourself! I already did a lil charm to hide you from onlookers anyway. Look! You always kinda reminded me more of a dolphin than a bird. Just as chirpy, but way more playful.”

“Dolphin? Wait, where—” Dick spun on his heel a little too close to the edge of the canal and lost his balance. His arms spun as he tried to find purchase and succeeded in grabbing Jason, taking him into the water with him with a loud splash.

“Damnit, Dick! This is exactly why fish and Dolphins don’t hang out here in the first place! Fucking human interference!”

“Jay, those articles got debunked,” Dick pointed out. “Sure, the canals are clear, but why the hell would dolphins just swim right in? Man, and here I always wanted to get a little wet in Venice, but not like this!”

“Seriously? Bad pun. Gross pun. How is Nightwing the chatty one? Your lines suck!” Jason splashed Dick before trying to pull himself back out of the water.

John crouched over them and smiled. “Tell you what; dolphins or no, I might have a place ‘round here where we might get you two out of those wet rags. We could even stay awhile. Warm you lads up.” He shrugged innocently, but they all knew what he was suggesting.

Dick and Jason looked at each other briefly, nodded, then leapt out of the water high enough to pull John in as well.

“Bleah! You little prats! It was just an offer!”

“Oh, we’ll take you up on it, John,” Dick told him, slicking his shaggy hair back. “Just thought it’d be more fun if we had an excuse to get your clothes off too.”


End file.
